Ailurophobia: The extreme or irrational fear of cats
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Pet Addendum
NO PETS ALLOWED. No pets, whether the Lessee’s or not, are permitted anywhere on the property, even temporarily, without the prior written approval of the Lessor. If a pet is found on the property, the Lessor may take any or all of the following actions:
- Declare the tenant to be in violation of the lease agreement and begin eviction proceedings accordingly.
- Charge the Lessee an additional rent of $25 per day until the pet is removed.
- Remove and turn over the pet to the proper authorities after providing written notice of intention to do so.
Lessee will also be charged for any damages caused by the unauthorized pet and for any removal costs.
Apt 404: Pluto the Deathless
I awaken this morning by the sound of squealing tires bolting out of the parking garage. I turn over to face my alarm clock, and the glowing face reads 4:00 am. I let out a loud sigh as I sit up in bed. I have to pick up my cat before someone finds him outside. Maybe he has not gone out yet, and I can avoid the chase altogether.
I sit up in my bed, and feel every vertebra in my back crack. The sound vibrates in my ears as I try to loosen up. I am so tired of chasing that cat around every morning. It’s been 39 years and he has not aged a single day. At this point, I am certain I will have to pass this cat along to someone when I die.
“Pluto” I hoarsely cough. I feel the phlegm in my chest tighten for a moment, as I grab my cigarettes from the nightstand. I light the cigarette with the small lighter hidden in the pack and take a long drag. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty.”
He can hear perfectly fine for his age, but that does not change the vindictive creature he is. I slip on my loafers and scuffle out to the balcony. The sliding door is already ajar. Pluto has already gotten out. I am on the fourth floor of the north tower with two other floors above me. The air is still this morning as I blow a cloud of smoke out. I lean against the metal railing and look up towards the top of the building. I see the blueish grey tuffs of fur wisp against the morning sky that looks like static television. I flick the cigarette behind me and begin to wait. I still have not fully worked out how he can get from my balcony to the roof. Maybe someday I will stay up with him to watch the spectacle.
I see Pluto’s tail flick and twitch over the edge as I see a sparrow take flight. I rub the sleep from my eyes. Pluto’s tiny white feet swing out from the ledge to bat at a bird mid-flight.
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