Nosophobia: the fear of developing a disease
Dawn will always be a loving and devoted mother first, before everything else in her life. When she was a little girl, there was nothing more that she wanted than to have a family of her own. It almost seemed like a fairy tale with how quickly she and Grant fell in love in High School. Their relationship has never been perfect, but not one relationship is. They loved each other; they still do. It was in their second year of college that they got married. Life seemed nearly perfect. Dawn wanted to be a mother more than anything. A child that would make her complete. She was over the moon when she found out it was going to be a girl. A little mini-Dawn that she could dress up, have tea-parties with, and hold onto forever. Someone who would someday want to be a mother of her own and come to Dawn for help. Dawn wanted to be there for everything. She wanted to save it in her heart forever. When Evelyn finally arrived, she could not imagine a more perfect baby. Dawn held onto Evelyn’s warm joyful body in her arms for the first time, and she could never want for anything else.
Dawn loved Evelyn’s first word “Momma.” She loved setting up play dates with the other moms in the neighborhood. Amber and Aiden Bird became fast friends of the family. Dawn remembered the fear from when Evie fell down three cement stairs, cutting her cheek on the iron railing. She had to get four of the smallest stitches to close her tender face back up. She cried harder than Evie did when it happened. Every time she saw the thin line on the right side of her daughter’s face, she was reminded of how fragile she would always be. How Evie, Evelyn, would always be her small baby forever, and how Grant would always be their protector. Dawn loved every moment with her family. It had been 5,865 days since she last held her daughter in her arms or felt Grant’s tender touch. In fifty-seven hours, she was going to change that. She was going to board a train to Boston and then would take a bus up to Maine. She was not going to miss her daughter’s wedding for anything. She had to be there, no matter what.
Dawn remembered the moment her world stopped spinning. It was a bright summer day, and Evie was turning ten in two weeks. They were at the park for a play date, when Dawn started to find a small tickle in the back of her throat. The cottonwood was whipping up in the air, sending small clouds of white wishful seeds into the sky. Each one with the potential to start something new. As Dawn watched Evie run with Aiden over the park benches, she felt out of focus when talking to Amber Bird.
“I’m not sure. I think it is just allergies.” The heat was becoming insufferable in the shady bank of trees. Dawn listened to the giggling of her daughter as she ran down the slide. She heard Amber yell something at the kids, but it sounded jumbled. Like she had yelled it through a fan as a warm sticky breeze wrapped itself around her.
“I don’t know, you’re starting to look pale. Want me to take Evie the rest of the afternoon?”
“Are you feeling okay?” Amber’s bobbed hair was pulled into a tufted ponytail as she looked over her friend’s face.
“No, I’m fine. Promise. How was your father’s visit last week?”
“No really, she’s no trouble. Dad bought Aiden an inflatable pool for his birthday. Why don’t I drive us home, and Evie can grab her swimsuit? It’s already set up, and they love swimming. It’s getting too hot for the park anyways. You’re always taking Aiden for me. You look like you need some rest.” Dawn cut her eyes towards Amber. She wanted to protest but found herself too exhausted to put up a fight. Evie did love swimming, and Dawn was feeling off her game.
“Okay. Thank you. Grant will be home in a few hours, 4 at the latest. He’ll pick up Evie when he gets home.” Dawn felt her thoughts drift off as Amber gathered the children and their things into the car.
Dawn’s biggest regret is that she did not have a chance to hold Evie one last time. As Amber dropped her off at home, Dawn gave her daughter a quick squeeze and peck on the cheek. “Love ya’ Evie. Have fun.”
“Love ya’ Mom,” Evie screamed as she ran out the door after Aiden. Dawn closed the door after them and laid down on the couch. She remembered hearing the car crunch the small rocks on the driveway, but that was the last thing she remembered of her life as it was.
In the early days, the News called it the 21st Century Plague. It took on the name of Scarlet Pox around the world. It was easier to remember than the long variola-whatever it was being called by the WHO. The name was to soften the blow it had on families, as their loved-ones anguished in front of their eyes. Powerless to help them, powerless to bury them, and powerless to escape the same fate. It wiped out entire families in weeks and stranded rural communities. In the cities, bodies stacked like skyscrapers as they waited for a survivor to claim them.
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